When things aren't going well, turn to 8 choices in life

This week, I read a newsletter from the founder of http://www.theresilientjourney.com/, which highlights choices in life. The web site founder, Dick O'Brien, posted an article of " Eight choices in life" to give us some advice when things are not going well.

O'Brien observes, "When things aren't going well, look at your recent choices and you'll discover the cause.'
The article's eight points inspired me to write about conducting a more effective job search.

1. What you focus on

For a successful job search, focus on 10-15 employers for whom you'd like to work. This is crucial to achieving success. The more specific you can be about the employer and where you'd like to work, the more likely you will expedite your job search. Focus also on how many contacts you are going to make, as opposed to the traditional job search, which is losing potency. (Remember that employers would prefer to hire those whom they have heard about from referrals, reputation or recommendation).

In the worst case scenario, job searching with no focus can mean futile activities like "blasting your resume" to 100 employers, without considering what YOUR work preferences are. Though this may seem time consuming, having a focus is actually time efficient.

Translate that into your daily life.

2. What you think

If you communicate desperation, anger, ambivalence or lack of confidence to an employer, either in writing or in person, as in an interview situation, you will be ruled out straight away. Employers will move on to a more attractive job candidate. And "stalkers" need not apply to employers, if you hound them for a response to an application.

3. What you say

Words, or communication witth a potential employer, convey an image. People will judge you based on how you communicate verbally or in writing. In the social media age, discrediting a former employer online or offline immediately supplants YOUR credibility. Be thoughtful and deferential. If you were laid off and still harbour hard emotions such as anger, resist the temptation to unleash them with contacts or with potential employers.

4. What you do

Networking, or reaching out to contacts still necessiates social graces. If you receive a referral or an invitation to meet an influential contact, don't forget to thank the person who was responsible for making that connection available. Some industries are more closely-knit than others. I have reconnected with people after a twenty year absence. Ensure you have a reputation that commands respect and admiration.

5. What attitude you employ

Though the economy is uncertain and unstable, a positive attitude speaks volumes about a person, regardless if you have been unemployed for six months or longer.

6. How you respond

As a supplement to point #4, communication should not waver from professionalism at all times. Job seekers' responses are under scrunity, especially with the advent of online job search tools, such as social media. Employers are not only checking and screening candidates online, but they are also evaluating your values and behaviours on and off line.

7. Your self-talk

Often called "negative self-beliefs," these are corrosive to one's confidence and self-worth during unemployment. Remind yourself constantly that unemployment is TEMPORARY and that is a matter of time when you will be employed. Write a mantra about your beliefs or the value that you can offer an employer. Repeat the mantra three times daily (three has been proven to be key in taking action) during your job search.

8. Your explanations

If you have been laid off, it is convenient, normal and understandable to wallow for a time about what you could have done, should have done and would have done to prevent your layoff. Yet the fact is, layoffs are rarely personal; they are rooted in economics and in cost-efficiency. In other words, improving the company's bottom line. Rehearse what you are going to say about your departure from a company before your next interview.

These eight points are salient to what choices we make in life. They give me pause to consider further posts about how choices are integral to an effective job search.

Your comments are always welcome.

Email me your stories about making good choices before March 31st, and I will select the best job search story and send the winner a FREE copy of my ebook, How to use social media in your job search.

Melissa Martin

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T.A.P. Q#459 – How Do I Approach A Stranger?

Dear experts,

I found a company in my town that I would love to work for. I have searched my LinkedIn connections and haven’t been able to find anyone who knows someone who works there. Do you have suggestions for reaching out to a stranger? How do I increase the chances he/she will bother to speak to me? I really want to work there

Dear job seeker:

Kudos for trying to contact a stranger. Firstly, you could try http://www.zoominfo.com/ or jigsaw.com to get some contact information.

If that doesn't work, go through the "gatekeeper" (no disrespect to receptionists) and inquire about how to SPELL the hiring person's name because you are drafting a cover letter.

Another idea is that once you get a person's name (someone at a department), send some info about that industry (try http://www.pressrelease365.com/) and/or try to get some company information via the site, http://www.theglassdoor.com/ and include that information in your introduction letter. Make sure you put something in the letter to entice the company contact to call you. And don't forget to include testimonials about YOU in the introduction letter.

Better still, write a "value proposition letter."

If all else fails, try the above tactic and leave a voicemail message, proposing what you would be a great fit with the company and how you could offer value.

Research indicates that it takes an average of eight attempts to reach a decision maker.

In other words, be irresistable!

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T.A.P. Q#456 – Like the Company, But Not My Job

Daily Twitter project question from careerealism.com:

Dear Experts,

I recently started a new job at a company I really respect and enjoy being affiliated with. However, I don’t like my current role in the company.

I want to stay involved in this company, but my desire is to switch positions. I’m not concerned about money at this point, I simply want to own responsibilities I enjoy carrying out.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

My answer:
Congratulations on your new job.

Be patient. You can prove yourself by adding value. How to do this?
Get settled in your role and then ask for more responsibility. Get feedback from management, or if that is not possible, from colleagues. Document your achievements. You can use them when your performance evaluation (and probationary period) comes.

Another simple way to add value is to show employers that by hiring you (especially by asking for more responsibility), that you are improving their bottom line. Employers have a one track mind: can you make me or save me money?

Your inclincation is to have a different role. If you can convince them to have more responsibility, they will see the rationale in hiring you in the first place, because you will be perceived as a "go getter."

Best of luck!

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interview with Tony www.workbabble.com: 7 Q about using social media

Here is my interview with Tony Deblauwe, founder of http://www.workbabble.com/::


1. You talk about the power of using contacts – what do you mean by that?

Leveraging contacts is quintessential in the job search. In my ebook, I emphasize the power of "weak ties" which often form the basis of the best source of contacts and ultimately job leads. Contacts are necessary online and offline for a successful job search; they are the key to getting the "inside" track about company and employment information. The more contacts we have, the closer we tap into that sometimes elusive hidden job market, which is typically 70-85% in normal, economic times, and up to 90% in these troubled times.


Despite the allure of social media and the temptation to confine a job search to an exclusively electronic means, contacts represent human communication and relationship building (to quote a skill I saw listed in a job listing for a bank today). Regardless of whether the contact orginated online, inevitably, it will turn into an offline, face-to-face contact. People hire other people, not computers!


2. What’s the best method for identifying corporate “insiders”? The best method is to "think like a robber and go through the back door" by doing some real sleuthing. First and foremost, is the opportunity to elicit and solicit human contact. If that isn't possible, tap into web sites which can provide vital information for you, such as linkedin.com, jigsaw.com (the free company data download is a goldmine and hoovers.com for company insider information.


3. How can someone address “social media fatigue” when building their online brand?


Primarily, social media does not guarantee immediate employment. It is neither a panacea nor a "cure" to replace human relationship building. Just as many career coaches and professionals caution job seekers about excessively searching online, the same applies to social networking. "Social media" fatigue can occur easily because of false expectations about what social media does. It is a viable job search tool, not a remedy or instant care for abandoning other successfuly job search techniques, such as cold calling, prospecting for job opportunities and using the telephone (gasp!) to gather leads.


Fatigue can also occur because social media is something of a sensation in job searching at the moment. Mark my words, another trend will appear! Lastly, fatigue can occur if someone uses social media to a saturation point. All the more reason to set up "Google alerts" to see what is being communicated about you or to calculate your online identity (scoped out by hiring managers and recruiters).

In the book, I allude to how one establish a health online identity, as opposed to a negative one, which is difficult to erase from cyberspace and from potential employers' memories!

4. What alternatives do people have to building their online brand without using a blog, Facebook or Twitter?

Visual alternatives are important more than ever. Audio bites, once a swansong in branding, have been eclipsed by videos. Consumers are hungry for visual information, confirming why YouTube's popularity is off the radar screen. A Canadian TV channel reported this morning that Scottish singing sensation Susan Boyle received 120,00,00 views on YouTube this year!


Other alternative are visual resume sites (I have a comprehensive list of the major and minor players), PURL's, which are personal URL's that job seekers can create to be noticed by employers. and virtual business cards (mine is http://melissamartin.businesscard2.com

5. How is YouTube used for job search?


YouTube has multiple roles in a job search:


a. For example, you can watch what recruiters and hiring managers are looking for in job candidates

b. insider information on preparing for interviews, preparing a personal brand and accessing outstanding, innovative job search information

c. learning ideas about how other people got hired or promoted

d. creating a personal brand to entice potential employers

e. creating videos to establish online credibility and prove expertise

f. creating videos to demonstrate to employers that you are technologically savvy and current

6. What key trends do you emerging with social media and personal branding?

Recruiting trends. Linkedin.com, for example, contains articles about this trend. Social media is being embraced by decision makers and hiring managers because advertising revenues (particularly daily newspapers) are eroding at an alarming rate.

Growth in accessing job search information on IPhones, cell phones and blackberries.

Personal branding has alway been visible in North America since the 19th century in one shape or form. Numerous companies have used personal branding to sell their products and services. (On the front page of my web site, there's an audio clip on how one major American donut chain has something in common with conducting a successful job search. And yes, it involves personal branding).

I also see the emergence of personal branding in the academic world.

In North America, we accept instant gratification to rule our society. Positive personal branding solidifies and quantifies a job seeker's profile. It "clinches" the sale of a job candidate, in a current economy where 1 out of 5 Americans are jobless. (Today I learned a new term called "Q6" to reflect the collective number of everyone who is truly unemployed, not merely the government unemployment statistics we receive regularly.

7. Where can people learn more about you and purchase your ebook?

Please visit my web site at www.careercoachingbyphone.com or follow me on twitter.com/ravingredhead (Well, being a real redhead is a personal brand of sorts!) My ebook offers essential insight for job seekers on how to leverage social media in a job search, tap into the hidden job market and learn some proven success strategies).

Since I am quite often sleep-deprived, you'll find me loitering (just kidding) on the internet!

I am also an approved job search expert on www.careerealism.com and contribute daily to the Twitter advice project (TAP).

To get hired faster, visit me on www.careercoachingbyphone.com







Soaring to your career destination.







Melissa Martin

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body language during interviews

Recently, I viewed a segment on NBC's Today show with body language expert Janine Driver. Her book, You say more than you think, is a New York Times best seller.

Sometimes we take for granted the nuances of a job search, such as body language during an interview.

On the Today Show, Driver examined what is a person's "baseline," or normal body language,  and observed that negative body language can instantly kill your chances of being hired during an interview.

Don't despair though. Driver offers "seven second fixes." In the case of a job interview, Janine strongly recommends "open palms" to get you hired. Here are some faux pas to avoid:
-dominating handshakes
-sitting directly across from the interviewer
-shaking hands with an upper hand over the interviewer's

To find out more about appropriate body language, check out Al Roker of NBC and Janine Driver on http://www.youtube.com/

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Included on list of "100 excellent, inspiring career coaches"

Thanks Anna Miller for including me on list of 100 excellent, inspiring career coaches, http:// tinyurl.com/yzhq489

Anna Miller is a staff writer for http://www.onlinedegree.net/, a web site devoted to students and recent grads.

Check out Anna's description of me!

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T.A.P. Q#450 – Group Interviews: How Many ‘Thank You’ Notes Are Needed?

March 3, 2010 by sparktalk

Dear Experts,

Following a group interview (five people), should I send one thank you note to the group as a whole? Or, should I send individual notes to each participant?

Dear interviewee:

Send individual thank you notes, preferably handwritten, if your handwriting is legible enough.
Be sure to state any valuable, additional information about why they should hire you as the successful candidate.
Best of luck!

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Building your self-esteem during unemployment: a starter guide

Quite often, career professionals like myself deal with the "employability factor" to help you get hired, but sometimes dismiss an issue that can make or break a prolonged period of unemployment, battered self-esteem.

So how do you stay calm, composed and build self- esteem in tough economy times? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to self-improvement.

Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self-esteem and deflate you in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which dart pins should you avoid?

Dart Pin #1 : Negative Work Environment

Beware of  the "dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to survive. This involves  non-appreciative people who usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people... Avoid this circumstance; it will ruin your self-esteem. Competition is at stake in a competitive work world, especially with one in five Americans who are unemployed.

Dart Pin #2: Avoid others' toxic behaviour

Bulldozers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, the walking wounded, controllers, complainers, exploders, patronizers...  all these kinds of people will poison your self-esteem, as long as you give them "your energy" and your attention. Toxic behaviour pervades those who are already beleagured with low self-esteem, such as laid-off individuals.

Dart Pin #3: Changing Environment

Babyboomers may recall the Rascals' song in the sixties, "How can I be sure? How I can be sure in a world that's constantly changing?" (Can you dig it man?)

Changes challenge our paradigms. For example, where has the permanent job gone? A job with benefits has been uprooted by uncertaintty. Enter the world of short-term employment and temporary contracts. This is sobering when a job seeker desires job security. Why not consider temporary employment, which is enjoying an increase in the workforce? At least you can accept a contract or register with a temporary employment agency and regain any last vestiges of your crumbling self-esteem?

I chose temporary employment long ago to make valuable contacts, get a taste of the labour market, and above all, to be productive. And yes, my self-esteem received a boost.

Let's face it, if you have received severance pay from the government following a layoff, temporary employment may be a desirable, short-term outcome for you.

Change is inevitable in the digital, social networked world. Rather than react to change, a preferable behaviour, and perhaps ultimately a skill, is to adapt to change. (Incidentally, look up my previous article, "How to deal with the signs of a layoff," part one, on my blog, http://webinarcareercoach.blogspot.com/)

Dart Pin #4: Past Experience

It’s appropriate and normal to grieve about unemployment. Grief equals pain, plain and simple. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. This period of unemployment is TEMPORARY.

Your past experience represents value to employers! You just need to craft it into a  "professional brand" that entices employers to hire you.

Instead of focusing on WHY you were laid off (most often it is not a reflection of your work performance, but a money issue), focus on what was valuable in your previous employment. How did that experience get you hired before your layoff?

Psychologist Dr. Ron Warner, who certified me in solution-focused interviewing and counselling, once observed, "No problem exists 24/7 except for terminal illness and chronic pain." How true!


Dart Pin #5: Negative World View

Focus on your goals, as small as they may be. Connecting with 5 referrals by phone in the next week? Conducting an informational interview? Setting up a free social media account to get acquainted with new technology? Don’t allow the the negativities of unemployment burst your bubble. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of the worst situations.

No doubt you've heard of individuals being laid off or unemployed for prolonged periods, only to enjoy a rebirth and regeneration of themselves. (By the way, it is the year of the tiger in the Chinese system, which means rebirth and resilience). In the common vernacular, we might call this a "blessing" if you have been laid off for some time and then found meaningful employment afterward.

Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory

The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Being positive, and staying positive is a personal choice. Building self-esteem and drawing lines for self- improvement is a choice, not a talent.

Let's harken back to the wisdom of Eleanor Roosevelt, "No one can make you inferior without your consent."

In life, its hard to stay motivated and upbeat when faced with the life-altering event of a layoff or unemployment. The grim reality of hearing constant rejection from employers is dehabilitating and savage to the soul.

However, take comfort in the fact that NO means "not right now." If an employer is not accepting resumes or hasn't returned your calls, take heart. Do NOT take it personally. The rejection (not an immediate acceptance by the employer) is NOT a reflection about you necessarily, but about unmitigating circumstances, such as an uncertain  market, diminishing profits, staff issues, training needs....What lurks behind the closed doors of employers is the subject of speculation for many downhearted job hunters.

Even though jobs are imminently impermanent, layoffs and unemployment are TEMPORARY to a wide extent. Witness the egregious Great Depression period of American history. Many entrepreneurs emerged from the economic rubble and likewise prosperous individuals with flourishing businesses.

Remember: over ninety percent of employment in North American originates from small and medium business.

If your period of employment is lingering and your patience is waning, why not offer your value-added talents via a small business?

Building self esteem will eventually lead to self- improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline.

Self-esteem results in self-improvement, true assessment, and determination.

So how do you start to build self esteem? Be appreciative of what you have now, whether it's healthy relationships, a healthy body or otherwise.

Never miss an opportunity to compliment. French writer Victor Hugo deftly observes: "A compliment is something like a kiss through a veil. "

Put away the stress of unemployment just for a short moment and imagine the life you want, not primarily the employment. Answers will emerge....

Melissa Martin
bilingual career coach and ebook author, How to use social media in your job search
Follow me on www.facebook.com/melissacynthiamartin

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Brian Williams' (NBC) Olympic thank you note

Dear careerists:

The Olympics was a celebration of international success.

Here's an email I received this morning:

Leaving behind a thank-you note


Posted: Friday, February 26, 2010 10:56 AM by Daily Nightly Editor

Filed Under: Brian Williams

Brian Williams, anchor and managing editor

After tonight's broadcast and after looting our hotel mini-bars, we're going to try to brave the blizzard and fly east to home and hearth, and to do laundry well into next week. Before we leave this thoroughly polite country, the polite thing to do is leave behind a thank-you note.


Thank you, Canada:

For being such good hosts.

For your unfailing courtesy.

For your (mostly) beautiful weather.

For scheduling no more than 60 percent of your float plane departures at the exact moment when I was trying to say something on television.

For not seeming to mind the occasional (or constant) good-natured mimicry of your accents.

For your unique TV commercials -- for companies like Tim Hortons -- which made us laugh and cry.

For securing this massive event without choking security, and without publicly displaying a single automatic weapon.

For having the best garment design and logo-wear of the games -- you've made wearing your name a cool thing to do.
For the sportsmanship we saw most of your athletes display.


For not honking your horns. I didn't hear one car horn in 15 days -- which also means none of my fellow New Yorkers rented cars while visiting.

For making us aware of how many of you have been watching NBC all these years.

For having the good taste to have an anchorman named Brian Williams on your CTV network, who turns out to be such a nice guy.

For the body scans at the airport which make pat-downs and cavity searches unnecessary.

For designing those really cool LED Olympic rings in the harbor, which turned to gold when your athletes won one.

For always saying nice things about the United States...when you know we're listening.

For sharing Joannie Rochette with us.

For reminding some of us we used to be a more civil society.

Mostly, for welcoming the world with such ease and making lasting friends with all of us.

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