T.A.P. Q#386 – Do I HAVE to Attend the Holiday Party?

T.A.P. Q#386 – Do I HAVE to Attend the Holiday Party?


November 30, 2009 by sparktalk

Dear Experts,

I work at a small office. There are only 20 of us. It’s my first year here and I just learned the owner is taking us all out to dinner at this fancy restaurant for the holidays. I’m pretty quiet at work and don’t really socialize with anyone there, so the idea of spending the whole evening with these folks sounds terrible to me. However, I heard someone at work talking about having another party that night to go to and saying she will have to cancel because she doesn’t want to skip the dinner for fear it would hurt her career. When I asked her about it, she said the boss really prides himself on treating us all to dinner and that he’d takes it personally as not caring about being part of the team if we don’t go. I think that is ridiculous, but I also don’t want to hurt my career. Is there a way to skip it without it looking bad?

Dear holiday goer:

Keep in mind that you are a newer employee in a small company.
What kind of message will you send if you attend the party? What message will you send if you don't?
You can evaluate what to do, however, caution is the best part of valor in this case.

Best wishes,

Melissa Martin
bilingual career coach
careercoachingbyphone.com

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Harassment/bullying in the workplace-10 tips to move forward

CBC radio broadcast a segment this morning on harassment and bullying in the workplace. Host Anna Maria Tremonti interviewed individuals and revealed some details about a recent study in the US:

According to the Workplace Institute in Washington, 13% of Amercians are being bullied; 24% have been in the past and 14% have only witnessed an event or events. The study concluded that 54 million Americans have been affected by this damaging issue in the workplace. It's believed that 5 million Canadians are affected by bullying or harassment.

As a certified harassment advisor (one who works on a (potential) harassment case, and a career coach with certification in solution-focused counseling, here is what to do to alleviate harassment or bullying in the workplace:

Professional tips:
1. Keep a detailed journal of what occurred with as many details as possible.
2. If there are witnesses, compile their names.
3. Tell the offensive person that his/her behavior is not acceptable,
4. Go to the supervisor, if necessary.
5. Choose not to react to the bullying or harassing behavior. (Quite often, bullying is power through aggression).
6. Use your company's resources, such as a harassment advisor, mediator or employee assistance program (EAP), if necessary. Many EAP programs offer you a choice of talking to someone by phone or in person,  and possibly seeking assistance outside of your community.

Naturally, harassing behavior or bullying creates stress. I'd like to thank my colleague, Sheryl Pedersen, for inspiring me to blog about this, after taking her workplace stress management seminar today.

Personal tips
7. Take a work stress inventory to identify your sources of stress, your triggers and your current coping mechanisms.
8. Learn to identify and change your "mind maps" (thoughts swirling in your mind) in such a situation and remind yourself that this stressful situation is temporary. You CAN change transform negative thoughts and energy into positive thoughts and positive energy.

I highly recommend Dr. David Burns' book, Feeling Good to deal with defeating your mind's negative thoughts. Dr. Burns uses cognitive behavior tools and techniques to help you "program" your mind in the face of adversity.

9. Write a joy journal to focus on what is going right (this is the focus of my solution-focus training), rather than what is going wrong.
10. Teach your body to relax with "keeping well" resources:
deep breathing, progressive relaxation, mindfulness, guided imagery and relaxing music.

If you are a victim of harassment or bullying in the workplace, a statement from Dr. Ron Warner, who trained me in solution-focused interviewing and counseling, still resonates: " No problem exists 24/7 except for terminal illness or chronic pain."

If you need guidance with these issues, contact me at teacher10@hotmail.com for some confidential, one-one-sessions, or join me on liveperson.com.

Melissa Martin
bilingual career coach
careercoachingbyphone.com














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T.A.P. Q#384 – TookBlack Friday Off But Now Boss Needs Me to Work

Dear Experts,


I never take Black Friday off but this year I decided to so I could spend the day with family. My boss gave me permission three weeks ago to take this day off from work. He even said he was going to take it off as well.

Yesterday, my boss sent me an e-mail requesting I change my plans and take Monday off instead. He says he’ll be working on Friday and would prefer to have me there ‘in case’ he needs my help.

How do I politely explain to my boss I want this day off? Is there any nice way to decline a request from your boss? Should I just go to work? Ugh, the holidays can be so frustrating!

Dear frustrated:

Offer to work longer before and after Thanksgiving, if that is possible.
The other choice is to turn the other cheek and be his ally (by his side, in case). If you choose that option, I'm sure that it won't go unrewarded!

Happy Thanksgiving!
Melissa Martin
bilingual career coach
careercoachingbyphone.com

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T.A.P. Q#383 – I Know the Interviewer and She Doesn’t Like Me

Dear Experts,

I have an interview at a company next week and I’m certain the person who will be interviewing me is an old acquaintance from college. This person and I never got along well during those years and left school on very bad terms. We have not spoken since.


I want this job really bad so I’m ready to put my feelings aside and get down to business during the interview. What do I do if this person noticeably treats me different because of our past? How do I handle this? Should I contact her beforehand?

Dear interviewee:
I'm going to use your words: put your feelings aside and get down to business.

Since you are really keen about this position, here's what to do:
Separate bad blood from the current situation. That was then, this is now.
Let your interest about the job shine through. Prepare meticulously. Impress to the extent that this person in your past may form a positive opinion about you. If this past acquaintance is worth her salt, she should be professional, above all, in this context.

Even though hiring decisions are emotionally-based, prove this person wrong about past impressions. Work on reforming a positive impression.

So many factors may have derailed your past relations. You are wiser, more mature and more experienced now.

When I was in my former career of radio, I once had a supervisor who had no time for me. I changed careers and HE came up to me at an employment conference and embraced me with open arms. It turns out that he was bipolar when I was working in radio. His demeanor toward me, much to my delight, was totally transformed because his medical condition had been diagnosed.

One never knows what's behind the "iron curtain" of a person's social side.

Give this person the benefit of the doubt. With your actions, and careful preparation before the interview, your positive energy should come through with the interviewer, which may result in you're being the successful candidate!

Let us know how the interview went!
Melissa Martin
bilingual career coach
careercoachingbyphone.com

T.A.P. Q#382 – Is It Possible for Company to Offer Raise If I Mention I’m Leaving?

Dear Experts,


My company is underpaying, other peers are getting new jobs at much higher salaries, and my boss is getting really worried and personally asking employees if they are happy or not.

I’m happy with the job but I’m underpaid and need a raise. I’m looking for other jobs but it’s only because of the low pay. I’m considering telling the company I’m looking so they get worried I’ll leave and offer me a raise.

Is this a smart idea?

Dear employee:

Don't abandon ship yet. Have a master plan. And a plan B too.
On the surface, it sounds like the crew is abandoning ship, or peripherally, but your employer may not simply be able to afford giving raises at this moment. Some companies, in this economic climate, are battling to stay alive.

Regarding your situation, it's a gamble to approach your boss without plans A, B and C and without knowing in advance if your boss will say NO. What will you say then?

Above all, be prepared to justify why you need a raise. So that means evaluating your ROI (return on investment). Or to put it another way, if you do roll the dice and approach your boss, and he/she is slightly agreeable,  show how giving you a raise would not cost the company that much more in the long run. For example, offer some value-added service on the job (i.e. supplementary service, tasks, etc) that could serve as  a bargaining tool.

I don't want you to end up in the unemployment lines, so think evaluate carefully.
A good decision making strategy is SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats, as in uncontrollables), in approaching your boss.

Best wishes,

Melissa Martin
bilingual career coach
http://www.careercoachingbyphone.com/

T.A.P. Q#380 – How Do I Shield the Nerves Before an Interview?

T.A.P. Q#380 – How Do I Shield the Nerves Before an Interview?


Dear Experts,


I always feel nervous and have a sense of panic prior to/during interviews. How do I conquer these feelings?

Dear nervous:


I give you the same advice (as a former broadcaster) and current presenter/teacher-prepare yourself as much as possible. 

The creator of interviewmastery.com is correct. Job seekers spent too much time on crafting their resume, and too little time in preparing for the interview. Same situation for preparing a presentation. You are and will be in the spotlight.

Some quick tips:
do extensive search about the company
do competitive intelligence on the company (what the competition is doing)
prepare relevant questions to the position, industry and company
prepare a few slides on what you would accomplish on the job in the first 30 days (slide presentations are free on interviewbest.com). They have fabulous examples
identify the company\s greatest challenge (the employer's hot button).

Above all, practise visualization.

Best,

Melissa Martin
bilingual career coach
careercoachingbyphone.com

How Your Resume Can Hurt You in Your Job Search - TRCB

How Your Resume Can Hurt You in Your Job Search - TRCB

careerealism: T.A.P. Q#378 – New Hire Is on Drugs

November 18, 2009

Dear Experts,


I just got a new co-worker. He was hired by my boss while I was on vacation. I know for a fact he is on drugs, but my boss is pretty clueless to this stuff. Should I say something?

Dear worker:

Be ever so careful about making conclusions. Do you have ample proof of your colleague taking drugs?

Many companies and employers try to screen candidates before a hire, for example, banks and certainly the military.

Decide carefully if you do go forward with this alleged information with your boss. If he/she asks, prepare to show evidence, otherwise, this could seriously jeopardize your career. You do not want to be considered a "whistleblower" without just cause and/or proof.

Best wishes,

Melissa Martin
bilingual career coach
careercoachingbyphone.com

T.A.P. Q#373 – Tips for Leaving Voicemail With Hiring Manager?

Dear Experts,

I’ve been trying to get in touch with a hiring manager for three weeks now. Till this point, I’ve sent two e-mails. Therefore, I don’t believe I’ve been annoying or pushy so it may be time to try calling her.

I have the phone number to reach this particular hiring manager but want to make sure I know how to handle leaving a voicemail if she doesn’t pick up. Do you have any advice on this matter so I can ensure I put myself in a good position to get a phone call back? Thank you!

Dear voice mail user:

You are correct to not be annoying or pushy. Leave her one more voice mail, but leave it at a strategic time-say early evening or before 8am. Managers are staying longer. Be sure to use her name (this is critical) a couple of times and give her a new reason to phone her back.

You can do this by suggesting that meeting with her or hiring you would be a worthwhile investment. So start thinking about your USP (unique selling points) to give to her. Make sure the voicemail is succinct and professional.

Best wishes,

Melissa Martin
bilingual career coach
careercoachingyphone.com

twitter project question 359 on careerealism.com-Do I have to listen to my coworker

Dear Experts,


It’s been heavily rumored one of my co-workers will be receiving a promotion soon. This promotion would make her my new boss. Unfortunately, this rumor has gone straight to that individual’s head and she has begun ordering me around.

If I had to guess, the rumor is true and she’ll get this promotion. But until then, do I have to listen to her? I’m worried if I ignore her instructions then she’ll fire me when she’s promoted. Help!

Dear worker,

Unfortunately, we do not choose our co-workers, so professionalism is the hallmark of valour.

Set a benchmark and continue to be professional, perform and give value to your employer. It is your means of survival in an economy when so many workers are disposable in a heartbeat.

Hang tough!

Best wishes,
Melissa Martin
careercoachingbyphone.com

Dear Experts,



My boss asked if I could stay late tomorrow and work on a project. I normally don’t mind putting in the extra hours but there’s a good chance the extra work will overlap with the Miami Heat game which I have tickets for. I bought these tickets weeks ago and I haven’t been to a game in a couple years.

Is it alright to say “no” to my boss? If so, what’s the best way to go about turning him down? Or, could I agree to stay late but only till a certain time?

Dear Miami heat fan:

It seems pretty clear cut in this case.

Tell your boss about the tickets and try to stay as close to game time as possible. You are entitled to a social life! Tell your boss that you will make up the time-possibly by coming in earlier the next morning.

Enjoy!

Melissa Martin
careercoachingbyphone.com

Twitter project on careerealism Q# 356: I have a passion for nothing

Dear Experts,


I’ve taken all the tests and can’t find a single job I’m excited about. I can’t imagine a job I would find interesting and no amount of money will drive me to do work that I hate. How does one turn around their complete distaste for work?

Dear dissatisfied,

Surely there is something that impassions you.

I don't know which tests you're referring to, but quite often, they refer to skills (which has nothing to do with what interests you). Skills do not equal interest. Talents, on the other hand, are entirely different.

So let's start with that. What talents do you have? They don't have to be work-related. If you still cannot, answer, ask other people what you are talented in. Another way of defining talents is your natural gifts or what do you have a knack for? Friends and family can help you with answering that.

Another option is to look at motivators. Think about school or community projects.What has motivated you in the past? A quiz, not test, that you can take for free is http://www.mapp.com/, lists your 10 motivators.

Are there any social causes you believe in? Any charities that align with your values? ex: Red Cross, Cancer Society, etc.

Furthermore, interests really tell the tale. Or simply looking at national occupational codes.

Failing that. What books do you read? What movies do you like? What music do you like? Sometimes patterns from those things emerge.

If you have a so-called distaste for work, try http://www.fabjobs.com/ or http://www.eccentricemployment.com/, which looks at non-conventional jobs.

The last strategy is to ask people whom you admire or people who are working in a field they like, and ask them how they get to where they are now.

Best of luck.

There is something for everyone out there.

Melissa Martin
http://www.careercoachingbyphone.com/

Twitter project on careerealism Q# 365-I’m Being Judged Because Co-Worker Is Relative

Dear Experts,


I applied for a very competitive position at a business and after a grueling interview process, was offered the job. I started last Monday and already feel I’m not being accepted by the other co-workers. I have a feeling it’s because my cousin works at the very same business.


I’m worried the other co-workers think the only reason I got the job was because my cousin is an employee there. I’m concerned my co-workers don’t feel I’ve earned my position at the company. Am I being paranoid? How do I cope with this?

Dear new employee:

Congratulations on getting the job, despite your gruelling interview.

It is possible that some co-workers may be aware of your cousin working there, but you haven't given any concrete proof that they are siding against you.

Perhaps the company decided on making the interview process more "gruelling" for a number of reasons, including the risk of reprisal from other employees. If that is the case, it could have been a protective measure on the part of the company.  Remember, companies are there primarily to protect what is most dear to them-the bottom line.

This said, prove to to the company that hiring you was a wise choice and give back ROI (return on investment). That will pay in your favor, figuratively and economically.

Ken Blanchard, author of the best selling business book in the 80's wrote One Minute Manager. In that book, he wrote about "one minute praising" and catching employees doing "something right."

Heed his advice and go forward in your new job.

Warmly,
Melissa Martin
bilingual career coach
careercoachingbyphone.com
877-621-3141

careerealism question: T.A.P. Q#363 – Why Do Non-MBAs Feel So Threatened? What Can I Do?

Dear Experts,


I’ve been out of work for 4 months now. I’ve gotten several interviews. Each time, my MBA has come up. I’m very proud of it. I paid my way through grad school, graduated with honors, and one of my course projects on entrepreneurship won an award. So, I’ve shared this information. However, I am now thinking this is causing me NOT to get the job. Here’s why…


At a party this weekend, I heard a woman say no one with an MBA gets hired at her company because management says they are all ‘too full of themselves and don’t really know how business runs.’ I was blown away. I know some people feel a sense of competition against those with advanced degrees, they even mentioned that in school, but I had no idea actual management teams would feel that way. I’m 28 years old and have the rest of my life to work, should I be hiding the fact I got my MBA instead of showcasing it?

Dear MBA recipient:

Be proud of what you accomplished.

What you heard at the party is hearsay.  It is only one opinion.

Increasingly, employers are looking for the coveted piece of paper (i.e. an MBA) as part of their hiring criteria. Others view it as a strong asset.

There are actual job postings that require an MBA and thereby allow you to make a pretty handsome salary.
An MBA often justifies  a higher salary grade. Take advantage of it.

When I decided to get my second degree and specialized in (second language) education, it paid off dividends for me and opened numerous career doors.

You will be rewarded for your efforts and credentials.

Take it from a fellow educator like me!

Melissa Martin B.A. B.Ed.
careercoachingbyphone.com

daily careerealism question:T.A.P. Q#364 – What’s Proper Recruiter Etiquette?

Dear Experts,


Ok, I don’t know of any other way to say this so I’ll just state the facts. I’ve had recruiters hit me up a couple of times for certain positions, some positions were negotiated while others just weren’t a fit and I remained on cordial terms with them. Recently, I’ve had a run-in with a couple of recruiters that approached me through LinkedIn, eager to recruit me for specific roles/positions they had in mind for me. I performed a thorough check of their company sites before replying to them and at their request forwarded my CV. I waited a decent amount of time (usually 6-7 days) each time and emailed them wanting to discuss the positions in further detail. The shocker was an absolute lack of correspondence back from their side. My LinkedIn profile lists the same experience as the CV. I specifically inquired about the need for a cover letter with my CV submissions but the recruiters said they did not require one. This complete lack of protocol and/or etiquette on their behalf has left me completely befuddled. Is there something wrong at my end? Could my CV possibly lack the luster? Was I spammed? Or is it standard practice for time to time? Very eager to hear your views.

Dear Recruiter client:

Sounds like you covered just about every angle.

The cover letter though, is designed for you to shine and be a solution to the recruiter's problems.
Was there any opportunity to correspond/contact or follow-up with the recruiters other than by electronic means? As in connecting by way of telephone (shows tenacity, initiative and confidence).

The CV on linkedin.com could also be a little bit more unique or "hard hitting" on your profile,
but aside from that, do you want to work for recruiters who do not exhibit socially graceful behaviour? In your own words-etiquette? Food for thought.

Best,
Melissa Martin
careercoachingbyphone.com

Working Strategies: Six steps to securing holiday employment

Working Strategies: Six steps to securing holiday employment

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T.A.P. (Twitter Advice Project) on careerealism Q#357 – Are Pictures/Logos Appropriate on Resumes?

Dear Experts,

I am starting to write my resume for a job hunt starting soon. I am curious if a small picture of myself next to my name, or maybe a small logo type branding would be appropriate? The current job I am applying for is a web design/developer position, and I thought this might give it a little more personality, a face behind the paper.

Dear Web designer,
In this context, a picture may be appropriate as part of your personal branding.

For some time now, the more creative and artistic positions have been able to use exclusive techniques or resources such as logos and pictures to showcase themselves. The same holds true with portfolios.

Since your intention is to be visual and creative, why not demonstrate your capabilities to an employer that you the real McCoy. Showing your picture displays confidence in this context.

On the whole, I have been an advocate more and more of using visually appealing resumes. Kevin Donlin and David Perry, co-founders of Guerrilla resumes have been endorsing visual resumes for quite some time, and many job seekers, have achieved success, even in the harder hit areas such as Detroit, with a 25% unemployment rate. Check out more at bit.ly/VA8v2.

Best wishes,
Melissa Martin
careercoachingbyphone.com

4 ways to find the best employers-guest post

I invited fellow job search expert Kevin Donlin to join our blog:


4 Ways to Find the Best Employers :"How can I find the best companies to work for?"

That's a question most job seekers ask almost daily. It's hard to answer ... because it's the wrong question.

Here's the real issue beneath that question: "I don't want to have to think hard about finding the best companies to work for." Admit it. You -- like me and all humans -- hate to think. It takes time. You have to pick and choose. You might make a mistake. And it can give you a headache. But unthinking behavior is a sure way to stay unemployed.

So, let's re-phrase the query, because a well-phrased question is half-answered. If you've been job hunting for more than 4 weeks, ask this question instead: "What have I NOT been willing to do to find the best companies to work for?" That's better. And easier to answer.

In fact, here 4 things you can do TODAY to find the best employers to work for ...

1) Look at your connections on LinkedIn. I mean really look.

Pick 5 people you admire, view their profiles, and look for the following: * Where do they work now? (Could you work there?)* Where did they work before? (Could you work there?)* Who are their clients? (Could you work there?)* Who are their competitors? (Could you work there?)* Who are their vendors? (Could you work there?)

Do this for 5, 10, or more people, and you'll surely find 5-20 prospective employers.

 2) Make connections at your last employers. Specifically, think about everyplace you've worked before. Now ask yourself the following questions: * Could you work there again? (Could you work there again? Don't snicker -- getting re-hired happens every day.)* Could you work for your former clients? * Could you work for your former competitors?* Could you work for your former vendors?

3) Find companies in the news. Spend 15-20 minutes researching the Business section of your local newspaper, looking for fast, smart, growing companies. Can't find any? Consider moving (or looking harder).

4) Ask 5 people you admire. I saved this for last, but it really ought to come first. Because, the more conversations you have, the more people will know about your job search -- and the faster you'll get hired. So, ask the 5 most-connected people you know for advice. Tip: Take them all out for coffee, bring a legal pad, take notes. In 30-45 minutes, you'll surely come away with answers that will shorten your job search.

Total cost: Less than $30.

Kevin Donlin, Co-Creator of the Guerrilla Job Search System. If you're in the job market and want to try something new, you can see Guerilla Job Search secrets caught on video and learn more here
at http://bit.ly/VA8v2

Best regards, Kevin Donlin, Co-CreatorGuerrilla Job Search System

T.A.P. Q#358 on careerealism – Co-Worker Earns More Than Me But Started When I Did

Dear Experts,


I just found out my co-worker, who was hired at the same time as I was, is getting paid $5K more than me! We do the exact same job and have the same level of experience. We are both recent college grads. I know she got recommended for the job by her mom who is friends with our boss. However, I don’t see how she is doing any more work, or brings any more to the job than me. How do I approach my boss about this? I don’t’ think I can continue working here knowing how much more she makes than me.

Dear worker:

You sound as though you feel betrayed by the employer. Correct?

Perhaps you do not have all of the facts

As much as it may seem unacceptable to you, many employers prefer to hire based on a referral (in this case, the mother), reputation and recommendations. Real and true in today's workforce.

Reconsider about approaching your boss. If you choose to do so, be professional and subtle. Do not make any direct references to your better paid co-worker. Demonstrate value to your employer to justify the comparable salary to your co-worker.

Best wishes.

Melissa Martin
careercoachingbyphone.com

Twitter project on careerealism Q# 359 Internship doesn't look interesting but it's all I got

Dear Experts,


I applied for a few spring internships and only heard back from one. The interview went well and I have a feeling I’ll get the position. Unfortunately, this internship program is the least interesting of the three I applied to.

Even though I don’t think I’ll enjoy myself, should I take this internship position? It’s also the least related to my major out of the three.

Dear candidate:

Congratulations on getting the internship, amid the fierce competition out there.
Evaluate your options about taking the least desirable internship.

Strategy #1: Do  a SWOT analysis:

What the strengths in taking the internship? (ie because of competition, this could be the only one at your disposal).
What are the weaknesses?
What are the opportunities? (ie it may not be your first choice, but this internship could lead to something fruitful in the future). Look upon this as a starting point.
What are the threats (non-controllables)? This could mean that there aren't any more internships, especially in your field.


Career planning isn't linear anymore. I saw a stat at an employment conference yesterday that said new grads could have up to  25 jobs by the time they are in their 30's).

Roll the dice. Evaluate. Sleep on it.

Often the most risky career decisions pay dividends, short-term or long-term.

Best,
Melissa Martin
bilingual career coach
careercoachingbyphone.com